You attract who you deserve, not who you desire.
Many writers on relationship and love encourage you to write a list of the qualities you want to see in your future partner. This is good because it helps to clarify the kind of person you want in your life. However some of these lists border on fantasy and are so laughable. Continue reading
‘Mom, are you saying that sex is bad?’ Rita asked.
Her mom was silent. She had a far away look in her eyes, something Rita had never seen before.
The noise of the crickets filtered into the room. Night birds shrieked at each other with playful delight as they scampered in the remaining portion of forest that civilization had not encroached on.
‘Ada,’ her mom paused. When she wanted to tell her something very important, she called her by her native name.
‘You know I love you very much.’
‘Yes I do mom.’
‘Have I ever told you something, anything which you later found out to be false?’
Rita thought for a few seconds. There had never been an occasion when her mom deceived her or told her to tell a lie. A long time ago, Rita had eaten a portion of her dad’s dinner before he returned from work. Rita loved egusi soup, with grilled goat meat. It was too tempting to resist. When her dad returned from work and found out what had happened, he called the four children together. But before he could say anything, her mom had fished Rita out. She was the only one, apart from the last born who liked grilled goat meat. The last born was in school, so the culprit must be Rita. She confessed and was given a short lesson in honesty and integrity. Several years later, this lesson remained with her.
‘No, mom, you have never told me a lie.’
‘A man who says he likes you should be patient to know your soul before he goes after your body. Your soul is the seat of your emotions, will, personality, dreams, hopes, likes and dislikes. Your soul is what makes you unique, different from every other woman.’ Her mom paused and drank some water. ‘A man who likes you has to walk through the passage of your soul to get to your body.’
Should you tell him ‘EVERYTHING’? Guest Post by Abiola George
Tracy was excited when Charles asked her out. Just her kind of man, he was godly, funny, attentive, intelligent, kind and generous. He made it clear that he had strong values to uphold and did not pressure her into having sex with him…a first for her. She felt she could be herself with him and completely threw herself into a whirlwind romance.
A few weeks into their relationship, she decided it was time to lay herself bare and tell him ‘everything’ about her past. Although she was in her mid-twenties, she had made many mistakes in her past relationships and so far she had undergone a number of abortions, the last one barely months before they met. They had just spent a nice afternoon together when she decided to drop her bombshell.
He didn’t say anything in response to her confession and the day ended amicably enough. Only the next morning, he didn’t call. When I saw him a few weeks later and asked after his ‘babe’, he told me what had happened and asked what I thought. I told him he was lucky she trusted him enough to tell him the truth, but being someone who had very strict views about pre-marital sex, he could not even fathom how to carry on a relationship with someone who had gone ‘that far’. There was nothing I could say to appeal to his Christian values of forgiveness and acceptance. He just couldn’t handle it. So he broke up with her.