On our kingdom journey we will require the wisdom, help and support of other people. To think you can make it on your own, fulfil your kingdom assignment without the assistance, help, support of other people is self delusion. You may have an amazing talent, gift and ability but you still require the contribution of other people to help you pursue and actualise your divine purpose. God never intended any of us to pursue our assignment on our own.
The Lord will bring us into strategic relationships with a number of people. It is our duty and responsibility to understand the purpose of these relationships, understand their depth and understand the season of their relevance in our lives. If we don’t understand these three things, we will most probably make huge mistakes in our relationships.
Every relationship in your life has a purpose. Let me rephrase that. Every divinely orchestrated relationship in your life has a purpose. There are some relationships that are entirely of our own making. Those ones don’t count. These sort of relationships are motivated by your flesh. You pursue a man, woman or organisation based on what you see on the outside. You feel that by aligning yourself with such people your life would be better and you will make progress. You pursue such people for their money, material possessions and what you think they can do for you. Such a relationship that is based on the calculations and manipulation of the flesh never serves any divine purpose in your life. When you pursue men with your own agenda and power you become their slave. You end up wasting your time, energy and resources pursuing the wrong people and when you eventually get connected to them, they will frustrate you like you never imagined possible. Such relationships end up resulting in loss of all kinds; financial, spiritual, material. This is not how God works. When The Lord orchestrates a relationship in our lives it is a blessing and not a curse. Every relationship that you struggle to develop and maintain with your own power will eventually turn out very badly.
However there is a relationship that is orchestrated by God to serve a divine purpose in your life and ministry. It is God who instigates, orchestrates and opens the door to this relationship. God positions you in such a way that the relationship happens effortlessly. The moment you meet this person or organisation there is a divine connection between you both. When you enter into such a relationship, things begin to happen to you in a special way. Your life takes a different turn, your business blossoms, your ministry moves to a new level and you experience God’s favour in an awesome way like you have never experienced before. Such a relationship happens supernaturally. God positions you and that person or organisation to be attracted to each other and you recognise that there is something special about the relationship.
To get the best out of a divinely orchestrated relationship you should pray and ask The Lord, “What is the purpose of this relationship?” When you pray in this manner The Lord will show up you why there is a connection between you and a particular person or organisation. It is important that you have clarity about each relationship you enter into. Without clarity you won’t recognise nor pursue the strategic purpose of the relationship.
A divinely orchestrated relationship is mutually beneficial to the parties involved in it. There is mutual respect because the parties involved bring value to the relationship. Everyone benefits from this divine connection. If your relationship is lopsided, you are the one always giving and the other person never brings any sort of value to the relationship, you may need to re-evaluate that relationship. When God brings two people together it is always a mutually beneficial and value-driven alignment. Value is defined by the individual needs in the relationship. Value is not always about material things or money. There are certain needs in our lives that money cannot solve. God brings you into a relationship with someone who needs what you have and that person gives you what you lack. A divinely orchestrated relationship is mutually beneficial and therefore there is mutual respect. One of the signs that there is something wrong with a relationship or that a relationship has outlived its usefulness is when you notice that it has lost mutual respect.
Mutual respect is a sign that the relationship is on track to fulfil divine purpose. Some people are very materialistic and money-driven. They assess every relationship based on how much money or material possessions a person has. If a person has little money they disconnect from such a person. They are covetous and money-driven and assess everything based on money. But this is spiritual idiocy and foolishness. In 1Kings 17 God sent Elijah to a widow in Zarephath. Elijah had nothing material but he possessed what the widow and her son needed to survive the famine in the land. God used Elijah to supernaturally turn the little that woman had into much and they both lived on it for three years. Thank God she didn’t reject him because he ‘had no money.’ Her story would have ended very differently.
Some of you want to marry a man or woman because of their money and material possessions and not because of the strength and content of their character and the depth of their walk with The Lord. Money and material things can disappear overnight and all that will remain is the real person without the facade of material things. Allow God to connect you to a man or woman who will value you and be a blessing to you for the rest of your life, not because he or she ‘has money.’
Relationships don’t last forever. Every relationship has a timing, a season for which The Lord intends it to last. Not every relationship will last for 5, 10, 30 or 50 years. Some relationships are designed by The Lord to last for months or a few years after which you both will move in different directions. I am not referring to a marital relationship but other strategic relationships The Lord brings us into so that we are well positioned to pursue and accomplish our assignment in the kingdom.
When a relationship has ran its course, when it has served its strategic usefulness, when its season has come and gone, then it is time to let it go and move on to the new relationships that The Lord has set before you. Some people hold on to a relationship that was once beneficial to them not realising that its time and season has passed. The fact that God used someone to help, support and bless you in the past doesn’t mean that it will continue until the day you die. Some of you have outlived the season of being a member of the ministry you attend or the organisation you work for. Your season there is over. You need to wake up from your slumber and MOVE ON. The ministry or organisation is not a bad place and your pastor or boss has not suddenly become ‘demonic.’ The reason why you are dissatisfied with that ministry or organisation is simply because your time there is up! Any extra day, week, month or year you spend in that ministry or organisation would be to your own detriment. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to pursue a relationship which no longer has a divine relevance in your life. The only thing you will experience in such a relationship is pain, lots of pain.
In Acts 15:36-40, Paul the Apostle and Barnabas had a quarrel over a seemingly simple matter. But things aren’t always as they appear.
And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other:and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.
The bible records that they departed from one another in strife, in anger and in contention. Their relationship had ran its course but they were so preoccupied with ministry that they didn’t see this coming. Paul and Barnabas had outlived the season of their divine partnership and relationship. They wanted to hold on to something that God had departed from. God was no longer in that relationship. It had served its purpose and was about to wind down.
For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
Strife is a sign that God is no longer involved in a relationship. Strife is indicative of the fact that your time in a place has ended, your season in a relationship is over. It is a sign that whatever intended purpose God had in mind for bringing you together has been achieved and therefore it is time to move you in a new direction.
Instead of fighting to fix a relationship that has ran its course, served its purpose and outlived its season, you should pray and ask The Lord to show you the way out for you to move on to the assignment and relationships He has prepared for you. There are better and more fulfilling relationships ahead of you. Release the past, embrace God’s Will for your life and pursue your kingdom assignment.