Don’t cast your pearls before swine.
1. A relationship should not be forced, coerced or manipulated into existence. If you force yourself into a relationship, you will regret it. Love should be freely given. It should never be based on certain conditions. Demanding that your partner fulfil certain conditions before you ‘love’ him or her is NOT love. True love is freely given, unconditionally.
2. You are a person of value. You should learn to honour yourself in a healthy way. Honouring yourself is not arrogance, narcissism or self worship. It is recognising and appreciating who God has made you to be. If you don’t learn to honour yourself, you will never be honoured by your partner. If you don’t honour yourself, you will allow yourself to be drawn into relationships ‘from hell.’ Recognise the fact that God made you a person of value. You are worthy of giving and receiving love.
3. Bring real value to the relationship. Many people want to get something for nothing. They want to get something of value from a relationship without bringing something of value to it. Things don’t work that way. When you invest value, you will receive value in return.
4. If your contribution is not recognised or appreciated by your partner, you don’t belong in that relationship. Someone who doesn’t appreciate your presence in the relationship and your contribution doesn’t want you in his or her life.
5. Your partner should be able to see and recognise your worth and value. It is not in your place to keep trying to ‘prove’ to him or her that you are a person of value. Where value is unrecognised, true intimacy will be impossible.
6. Sex is NOT synonymous with love. Having sex is no proof that you are in love with your partner. Someone may hate you but still have sex with you. Insisting on sex to ‘prove love’ is one of the ways to recognise a manipulator and a user.
7. You are a person of value. If your partner constantly puts you down, makes you feel like a loser, makes you feel depressed and does not in any way celebrate your worth, you are not with the right person.
8. A relationship is meant to add value to your life. You and your partner should be a blessing to each other. If you are not experiencing and enjoying this value, you are with the wrong person.
9. Until value is recognised, it will always go unrewarded. The person who sees, recognises, shows appreciation for and rewards the value you bring into his or her life is the one you should be with.
10. One of the greatest joys you will experience in life is when your partner recognises and honours you because of the value you bring into his or her life. The opposite is also true. You will experience great pain if you are in a relationship with someone who does not see, celebrate or honour you for the value you bring into his or her life. This is the very reason why you should be careful to start a relationship only with that person who recognises and honours your value and never cast your pearls before someone who doesn’t see or honour your value.