You attract who you deserve, not who you desire.
Many writers on relationship and love encourage you to write a list of the qualities you want to see in your future partner. This is good because it helps to clarify the kind of person you want in your life. However some of these lists border on fantasy and are so laughable. You desire a smart woman but you are as stupid as stupid gets. You desire a successful lady but you are failing in your life. You desire a rich man but you are broke. You want a spiritual guy but you are too busy chatting with your on-line friends that you hardly pray. The truth of the matter is that we attract people who are drawn to who we are in our soul. Make-up can accentuate a lady’s features but it cannot change who you are in your soul. You can spend a lot of money buying nice clothes, but clothes cannot hide who you are. You cannot hide an awful character behind nice clothes. You cannot hide a dark soul behind good looking cars and houses.
People may be attracted to you by your looks, possessions, success, etc. But it is what happens after they discover what’s in your soul that determines in what direction the relationship will go. It is the person who is comfortable with what’s in your soul who will want to stay with you. The person who agrees with your values and your character will remain with you. You will attract into your life not who or what you desire but who you deserve because of WHO you are. Who you are is more important than what you want because you will eventually attract a mirror reflection of yourself into your life.
The Bible says in Amos 3:3 that two cannot walk together except they agree. What this means among other things is that you cannot walk together or have a successful relationship with someone unless you are in agreement with that person. True agreement is based on mutual values. Agreement has to do with the connection in your soul which pulls you and binds you together. If beauty and the beast get married, there are certain things in their soul which attracted them to each other. I used to wonder why a ‘good woman’ ended up with a bad guy. It used to bother me that a good man ended up with a bad lady. Then it dawned on me that there was something within their souls that pulled them towards each other. They had similar values that formed the basis and foundation of their relationship. I once asked a lady whose husband was an alcoholic and party animal, ‘where did you meet him?’ She said they met in a night club. They liked to party and drink together, then they got married. They deserved each other.
Instead of wasting your energy to write a list of the qualities you want to see in your future partner, write a list of the qualities you want to see IN your own character and in your own soul. Start by working on and changing who you are. When you focus on working on your character, you will end up attracting your kind of person, someone who agrees with the values you have built into your soul. If you work on your character, you will never have to worry about writing a long list because the person who resonates with your soul will find you wherever you are. That is who will be comfortable with and be in agreement with you. That is who you deserve.