You Attract Who You Deserve, Not Who You Desire.

You attract who you deserve, not who you desire.

Many writers on relationship and love encourage you to write a list of the qualities you want to see in your future partner. This is good because it helps to clarify the kind of person you want in your life. However some of these lists border on fantasy and are so laughable. You desire a smart woman but you are as stupid as stupid gets. You desire a successful lady but you are failing in your life. You desire a rich man but you are broke. You want a spiritual guy but you are too busy chatting with your on-line friends that you hardly pray. The truth of the matter is that we attract people who are drawn to who we are in our soul. Make-up can accentuate a lady’s features but it cannot change who you are in your soul. You can spend a lot of money buying nice clothes, but clothes cannot hide who you are. You cannot hide an awful character behind nice clothes. You cannot hide a dark soul behind good looking cars and houses.

People may be attracted to you by your looks, possessions, success, etc. But it is what happens after they discover what’s in your soul that determines in what direction the relationship will go. It is the person who is comfortable with what’s in your soul who will want to stay with you. The person who agrees with your values and your character will remain with you. You will attract into your life not who or what you desire but who you deserve because of WHO you are. Who you are is more important than what you want because you will eventually attract a mirror reflection of yourself into your life.

The Bible says in Amos 3:3 that two cannot walk together except they agree. What this means among other things is that you cannot walk together or have a successful relationship with someone unless you are in agreement with that person. True agreement is based on mutual values. Agreement has to do with the connection in your soul which pulls you and binds you together. If beauty and the beast get married, there are certain things in their soul which attracted them to each other. I used to wonder why a ‘good woman’ ended up with a bad guy. It used to bother me that a good man ended up with a bad lady. Then it dawned on me that there was something within their souls that pulled them towards each other. They had similar values that formed the basis and foundation of their relationship. I once asked a lady whose husband was an alcoholic and party animal, ‘where did you meet him?’ She said they met in a night club. They liked to party and drink together, then they got married. They deserved each other.

Instead of wasting your energy to write a list of the qualities you want to see in your future partner, write a list of the qualities you want to see IN your own character and in your own soul. Start by working on and changing who you are. When you focus on working on your character, you will end up attracting your kind of person, someone who agrees with the values you have built into your soul. If you work on your character, you will never have to worry about writing a long list because the person who resonates with your soul will find you wherever you are. That is who will be comfortable with and be in agreement with you. That is who you deserve.



Filed under Relationships, Single Ladies, Single Men

21 responses to “You Attract Who You Deserve, Not Who You Desire.

  1. Peter Effiong

    Nice article, this is an eye openner to all single men and women. God bless sir.

  2. Can every single man or woman hear this? I have had this mantra for years! When I was single, I bargained with God that I would so dev myself that he would have no option but to pick out one of his worthy sons. People are rather lazy. I read of a lady struggling with alcohol, tobacco and sexual addictions. Yet, she’s so busy praying for a godly man. Is God unfair? He is a just judge. We need to pay d price to ‘deserve’ what we desire, though Grace will give us even more than we can think or ask

    • I like this angle of grace. God’s grace will help us develop our character. I don’t think grace will bring an ‘unhealthy’ partner with a twisted character into the life of a godly man or woman.
      Two things happen when we work on our character. First we repel the ‘wrong’ people who had rather die than stay with a godly person. Second, we attract the right people who love our character and values. There is no avoiding character development if we want to attract the right partner into our lives.

  3. evelyn

    thanks George, this is very true & will help many who are looking for partners, God bless u.
    is it a full book? if yes please send it to me, i like it

  4. this made me think of another angle to this .. “First we repel the ‘wrong’ people who had rather die than stay with a godly person”… but funny enough, its those we repel we try over and over to go back to, we feel there must be something wrong with us for them to leave us when the truth is that, they couldn’t stay with the godly, goodly ladies we are… we need to learn to let people who God separates us from go.. let the one who aligns with what God has placed in us come in. we should stop holding on to what we should discard.
    thanks for this sir, words of truth as usual

  5. Sir, i must say this piece is a real blessing and also an eye opener to some of us who think we already know how it works in relationships. thank You sir.

  6. Ocheigwu Peter Lazarus

    Nice one Sir! Just what i need. Thanks.

  7. Catherine Nwajei

    Good insight! I always had a prayer point in my early twenties that God should mold me to be the type of woman my husband wants me to be – the way i prepare meals, my character, everything. Love comes from within, you cannot give what you don’t have!

  8. moses Mugerwa

    Really that’s true sir am also now working on myself in order to attract the quality God fearing life partner like me.

  9. Benedict ee Reeves

    you are a blessing to my life and ministry sir.

  10. Rose

    Wow, very inspiring article, i love dis nd its really gonna help me and my frnds so much. Thank u very much sir nd may God continue to crown ur effort.

  11. Eben

    that was awesome and worth hearing.may God contiune to bless you for you to always have to share with as.

  12. Changing who you are on the inside is a process. As you begin to sow the seeds of change consciously in your life you’re then gradually drawn towards the one who truly would complement who you would be as a wife or as a husband and you eventually reap that person as a harvest. Great article Sir!

  13. Melchizedek Salemwomenorganization

    thank  you very much for your encouraging words of Christ May the Good Lord Richly Bless you

  14. Adeola

    This is a typical case of “show me your partner and I would tell you who you are” very deep, bless you Sir for this write up.

  15. vivian

    very correct

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