For Single Ladies. 4 Wrong Reasons To Get Married.
1. Don’t get married for his money.
Getting married to a man who is ‘rich’ in itself is not wrong. It is the human need for self preservation that drives a woman to seek a man who can provide adequately for her and her children. It is very important that a man should be able to adequately handle the responsibilities of marriage before entering into it. If he is not financially prepared for marriage, he will constitute a burden to you and you will experience pain daily because of his irresponsible lifestyle.
However, you shouldn’t get married for money. Let me be frank with you. If you make a man your ATM, then it follows that you are just is whore. There’s really no difference between you and the lady who demands for cash after each sex session. If you want to gain respect in the relationship, make sure that you bring something to the table that helps the family financially unless you and your man plan for you to do otherwise.
2. Don’t get married for sex.
This is what movies are made of. A lady meets a handsome, sexy man and falls in love with him. (In movies, a woman never falls in love with any other kind of man.) Between minutes, they are in each other’s arms, kissing wildly, then it culminates in a sex scene. After minutes of wild, passionate sex, the woman is convinced that ‘he is the one.’
This scene plays out in movies but in real life, you will be foolish to get married to a man because ‘the sex is good.’ I know that sex plays a role in making a marriage work, but it isn’t fundamental to its success. There are a dozen other areas that you need to work on to make your marriage work. Ask any married woman how many times she has sex with her husband. Ask her whether she thinks of sex when she has to take care of her kids or when she and her husband are trying to settle the bills.
Single lady, don’t be deluded by sex. Some ladies think that their value is their sexual ability or agility. You are more than sex. You should look deep into your heart and bring value into the relationship. If it’s all about the sex, that relationship is scheduled for failure and pain.
3. Don’t get married when you know in your heart that he’s not the one for you.
Some ladies are desperate. They jump into marriage recklessly, ignoring every warning from reason and from their hearts. They even ignore the wise counsel of older folks in their lives who can see through the lies of the man in their lives. Such arrogance only leads to pain.
Such ladies reason that ‘a bird in hand is better than any other possibility out there.’ They vow not to let this one go no matter how wrong he is for them. Such ladies tolerate unimaginable abuse because they want to get married by all means necessary.
If you find yourself in such a situation, I will encourage you to take it to the Lord in prayer and let him handle it for you. The Lord can and will bring the right man into your life if you trust and obey.
4. Don’t get married because you are pregnant for him.
What has pregnancy got to do with marriage? Absolutely nothing. Pregnancy is not equivalent to marriage. Maybe it did 20 years ago, but no more.
Some ladies try to use pregnancy to entrap a man. That is so old school. If you got pregnant but the man is not interested in getting married to you, please don’t force him to. Make sure that he really loves you and wants you in his life as his wife, companion and mother of his children before you head for marriage. If he is not willing to get married to you, don’t force him to. Marriage should be entered into without any form of coercion or manipulation. All successful relationships are based on wise negotiation. You should therefore learn how to negotiate with your man intelligently.
A man will get married to you because of the value you bring to his life: how you make him feel, your intelligence, your contribution, your peace, your beauty, your sense of style and how you make his life work. Those are the things you should focus on. May the Lord give you wisdom to do the right thing.