Monthly Archives: March 2012

For Single Ladies. Red Flags!

For Single Ladies. Red Flags!

A red flag simply means, ‘He is NOT the one for you.’ No matter how you feel about him, this dude will bring you pain. Ladies, when you see a red flag, it is time to disconnect, detach yourself from that guy and run for your life. It is foolish to try to turn a red flag into a ‘white flag’. Most ladies often discover too late that such flags remain red for the rest of the man’s life. A lesson you must learn, is that what you see is what you will get, make no mistake about it. Let’s take a look at some red flags.

1. If he has no determinable source of income, that is a red flag right there.

2. If he calls himself a consultant or business man, but he has no real product or service you can see, it is a red flag. ‘Consultant’ is the title of choice for the 21st century con artist. Apologies to all the genuine consultants out there. Now you’ve got to show us some real proofs!

3. If he gets angry all the time, and becomes violent to the extent that he breaks or destroys stuff, that dude is dangerous. It is a red flag. We all get angry. However anger should be controlled and should never result in violence.

4. If he steals from you, in any way, it is a red flag. For instance, borrowing without paying back, that is systematic stealing.

5. If he can’t hold an intelligent conversation with you but rather prefers sex, that is a red flag. You cannot build a relationship on sex. If you can’t talk, there is no relationship.

6. If he is not a happy person, it is a red flag. This guy may have lots of issues in his life but my dear lady, you are not responsible for any of it. If he can’t solve his issues, guess what? He will bring them into your life.

7.If he has never brought up the subject of marriage without any encouragement from you, it is a very clear red flag. Stop forcing yourself on him.

8. If you have different vision(s), it is a red flag. For example, if he is a ‘free spirit’ and wants to be a biker for the rest of his life, but you are a medical doctor, you are incompatible. Riding that bike with him may seem sexy to you, but wait until you are married and you will understand the meaning of pain. He will always be on the road on his bike with his ‘free spirit’ and possibly irresponsible, biker friends. Is that the sort of life you want to live? My advice? Simple. Run now while you can.



Filed under Single Ladies

Gold Digger.

Gold Digger.

Dayo sat on one side of the sofa like a cornered animal. His body was tense and he sweated a little. He looked at Tina who was busy eating her chicken and sighed.

‘Is anything the matter darling?’ She asked.
‘Tina, what do you need the money for?’
‘Oh, that?’ She touched a napkin to her lips and looked up, her eyes twinkling with excitement. ‘Darling, my rent is due this week. I have some of the money but it isn’t enough. I’ve got so many bills to settle….it takes a lot to be a fashion designer in London you know.’

She should have told him that when they met. But you never seem to ask the right questions until it is too late. Maybe it wasn’t too late, he thought.

Dayo met Tina at a friend’s birthday party in North London. She caught him checking her out, so she walked over to where he stood with his friend. She smiled.
‘Nice outfit.’
‘Thanks. I made it myself.’
‘And your shoes?’
‘I bought those. Christian Louboutin.’
They shook hands. Before the party was over, he told her that he worked for an oil firm in Nigeria but was on a study leave in the UK for six months. She was a model and an aspiring fashion designer. They liked each other and decided to go on a date.

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Filed under Short Stories

Should You Tell Him EVERYTHING?

Should you tell him ‘EVERYTHING’? Guest Post by Abiola George

Tracy was excited when Charles asked her out. Just her kind of man, he was godly, funny, attentive, intelligent, kind and generous. He made it clear that he had strong values to uphold and did not pressure her into having sex with him…a first for her. She felt she could be herself with him and completely threw herself into a whirlwind romance.

A few weeks into their relationship, she decided it was time to lay herself bare and tell him ‘everything’ about her past. Although she was in her mid-twenties, she had made many mistakes in her past relationships and so far she had undergone a number of abortions, the last one barely months before they met. They had just spent a nice afternoon together when she decided to drop her bombshell.

He didn’t say anything in response to her confession and the day ended amicably enough. Only the next morning, he didn’t call. When I saw him a few weeks later and asked after his ‘babe’, he told me what had happened and asked what I thought. I told him he was lucky she trusted him enough to tell him the truth, but being someone who had very strict views about pre-marital sex, he could not even fathom how to carry on a relationship with someone who had gone ‘that far’. There was nothing I could say to appeal to his Christian values of forgiveness and acceptance. He just couldn’t handle it. So he broke up with her.

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Filed under Teaching

Are You In-Tune With Your Intuition? | Guest post by Abiola George

Recently, there has been a spate of incidents reported in the social media about domestic violence leading to the death of one of the partners, usually the woman. These stories are very sad indeed because it is obvious from the comments of close friends that something was wrong all along.

Many survivors of rape, kidnap, abuse, and all other kinds of violations usually say that when they came in contact with the person who violated them, they ‘felt something was wrong’ but decided to over-ride that feeling. This is also true for people who have survived accidents, and people who have been duped in business. They all had a ‘feeling’ but decided not to dig deeper.

Think about it…how many times have you felt that you shouldn’t do a deal with someone but you went ahead because the deal looked good and you ended up being duped? How many times have you felt ‘there’s something not quite right about that guy’ but you decided to date him and not too long after he manifests a behaviour that shocks you?

This ‘feeling’ that we all have is our God-given INTUITION. Simply defined, intuition is that ‘knowing’ that you get without thinking about the issue consciously. In essence, it is a part of us that is connected to the largest ‘database’ in existence, and by this I mean the Spirit of God who teaches us all things, if only we would listen. As I was writing just now, this came to me: IN-TUITION means ‘inner teaching’. WOW!

One of the values I have always cherished is parental consent. Call me old school, but in talking to many people who have gone through divorce, their mother said on meeting their intended only ONCE “you have not yet found a wife” or their father said “this guy is not good for you”. Somehow, they just know and then they observe. Yes, there are cases of parents who are motivated by greed or social appearances but I have found also in these cases that someone who is an authority figure in their life had the courage to speak the truth.

So how do we develop our intuition?

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Filed under Ministry, Teaching

For Single Ladies. 7 Questions You Must Answer Before You Say Yes To That Guy

For Single Ladies. 7 Questions You Must Answer Before You Say Yes To That Guy.

1. Is he ready for a real woman or is he looking for someone he can manipulate, control and push around? There should be mutual respect in your relationship.

2. Is he ready for a relationship or is he just looking for a fling? If it is a fling he is looking for, then you are not the girl for him. He should look elsewhere.

3. Is he ready to handle the responsibilities of a relationship with you? Like a lady told me, ‘I have got bills to pay and this man must be ready for that.’ Kinda straight forward, don’t you think?

4. Does he have a very clear direction for his life? A man without clarity is dangerous. Stay away from him. If his life has no semblance of order, he will never bring order into your own life.

5.Is he God-fearing? Is he passionate about Jesus Christ and the Kingdom? If he isn’t, he can do absolutely anything to you without fear or remorse. Going to church doesn’t make a man or woman God-fearing. Devils also attend church.

6. Does he honour women in general? A man who says negative things about women has been hurt severally by women and could be looking for a victim to inflict his revenge upon. Don’t be that victim.

7. Does he always encourage, assist, motivate and push you to do more with your talents, your career and your life? A man who is intimidated by your success is not the man for you. Be patient, your man will find you.



Filed under Single Ladies

For Single Men. How To Marry A Good Woman.

For Single Men. How To Marry A Good Woman.

1. You have to first of all be a good man before you go searching for a good woman. Develop your character and be prepared to connect with her when you meet her.

2. Because like attracts like, you will attract the quality of woman you deserve, nothing less, nothing more. You will attract ‘your type.’

3. Men use their ‘lower head’ to think more than their hearts, so you must be careful when making this decision. When a man sees a woman, the first thing that comes to his mind, (okay, for the benefit of doubt, let’s say it is the second or third thing) is sex. No matter how ‘spiritual’ the man may think he is, sex is usually at the top or very near the top of his priorities. Never base a decision to get married to a woman based on your sexual chemistry. It may prove quite disastrous in the end.

4. Never judge a woman by her outward appearance. She may look as beautiful as Miss world but be ‘satan’s sister.’ She may fool you by her looks, sexual energy and smooth words, but she cannot deceive you with her life style. If you study her carefully, you will discover who she is.

5. By their fruit you shall know them. Marry for character, compatibility and not for the beauty. If you have been deceived by sex, may the Lord deliver you today.

6. If you want to get married to her because of her money, you might as well hang a sign around your neck, with large letters in red reading ‘SLAVE,’ because that is what you will become in that marriage.

7. This woman must be willing to follow your dream and help you achieve it. If she’s ready to do everything within her power to see your dream manifest, she’s the one for you. Don’t let her out of your sight! Another thing, you must be willing to do the same for her to qualify as her husband.

8. One sign you should never ignore is the presence or lack of peace in your heart about this woman. If you have no peace in your heart every time you think about her, dude, she’s not for you. If you have solid, unshakeable peace in your heart, she’s the one. Move quickly towards marriage.

9. Wrap things up very quickly. 12 months is enough to know a woman. Don’t waste your time on unimportant things. Get to meet her parents, do the introduction, fix a date for the wedding. Get the wedding out of the way.

10. Be the man. Handle the responsibility of marriage. Love your wife the best way you can. Enjoy the wife of your youth, be a blessing to her and have an awesome marital journey.



Filed under Single Men

Breaking Soul Ties

Breaking Soul Ties.

1. A soul tie is an emotional, spiritual bond between two people. It can be negative or it can be positive. However, most soul ties that exist are ‘accidental and unplanned for.’ Such tie goes deep and can keep the people in bondage for as long as it exists.

2. What so many people call love is either infatuation or a soul tie. To recognise if what you are experiencing is true love, you have to examine the foundation of your relationship. If the foundation is nothing but sex, you are in a very dangerous place emotionally.

3. A soul tie may come about as a result of intellectual or spiritual compatibility. You can develop an emotional bond with a member of the opposite sex if you are intellectually or spiritually compatible.

4. The most potent, powerful and most deadly form of soul tie occurs through sexual intercourse. There is a very strong reason why sex before marriage is not safe. When you engage in sex, you develop an emotional bond with that person which in many cases may prove very difficult to break.

5. Now, here is the real problem. If you discover that your partner is a mass murderer-God forbid-, it will be extremely difficult to let go because now your emotions are functioning on ‘automatic.’ They have developed a mind of their own. They no longer listen to you no matter what you say. Your emotions totally ignore your mind and go after pleasure. Even if that pleasure will destroy you, your emotions keep moving in that direction. Lord show us Mercy!

6. This is the reason why you see a mismatched couple and you wonder, ‘what is this beautiful, intelligent, classy lady doing with this ‘loser’?’ It’s simple. That lady allowed that ‘loser’ to have sex with her and she became his ‘slave.’ You may see a cool guy with this ‘dud’ of a lady and you wonder what exactly is going on. It’s the sex going on. The guy has been entrapped by the sex.

7. How do you recognise a soul tie? If you are unhappy all the time and only become ‘happy’ during sex, or if the only thing that keeps your relationship together is sex, it is a soul tie. If the problems which exist in the relationship are destroying you, yet you insist that you are ‘in love’, it is a soul tie. If the only time you experience any form of pleasure is when you are having sex, you are experiencing a soul tie. True Love doesn’t need sex to be pleasurable.

8. How do you come out of a soul tie? Let me be frank with you, it is not going to be easy. In fact, many people reading this article are under a strong delusion which they call ‘love’ but it is a soul tie. First, you have to ask God for mercy, to deliver you from the lie you have allowed yourself to fall into.

9. Distance yourself from that person and start praying. If it is an ex who keeps popping up in your mind, you should distance yourself from that person: no phone calls, no meetings, no text messages, no emails. Starve that emotion until it withers and dies.

10. If you don’t destroy a soul tie, it will destroy your peace, happiness and future relationship. A soul tie can even destroy your marriage if you don’t deal with it now. If you want to experience real happiness, get rid of the soul tie in your life. It may take you sometime to be free from it, but breaking out of bondage into liberty and emotional freedom is worth the effort.



Filed under Single Ladies

Prayers For Single Ladies.

Prayer For Single Ladies.

May your eyes be open. May the Lord grant you clarity to recognise your husband.

May you see what others do not see in him.

May the Lord bring your hearts, soul and minds to unite in true love.

May he be loosed and set free from every unprofitable relationship.

May the hold of ‘Jezebel’ be broken over his life.

May the Lord give that man peace wherever he is, in Jesus Name.

May he be delivered from the snares of the enemy.

May your beauty attract him.

May your words bring peace to his soul.

May your intelligence stimulate and excite him.

May he love you the way the Lord has graciously designed you.

May his heart desire you and no other.

May the Lord do a quick work in your life that will lead to marriage.

May every hindrance to your marital destiny be removed from your path.

May the Lord grant you uncommon favour with him.

May the Lord set events in motion in your life, that will lead you into a glorious marital destiny, and give you a testimony for good, in Jesus Name.



Filed under Single Ladies

For Single Men. Can You Handle Her?

For Single Men. Can You Handle Her?

1. Before you start a relationship with a lady, you must think carefully about what you are about to do. A relationship is not something you should rush into or handle lightly.

2.Are you ready for a relationship with her? Are you emotionally, mentally and spiritually mature to meet her needs?

3. Being sexually attracted to her means absolutely nothing. It isn’t a sign of likeness, love or any other thing your mind may come up with. It may just be your hormones messing with your mind. A woman is more than her body and her sexuality. She has a life which you should be able to blend with. Can you do that?

4. This lady has a history. Can you handle it? She has a past. Can you handle it? Can you handle her mistakes, failures and weaknesses? Can you handle her dream without being intimidated and becoming jealous?

5. She already has a life before she met you, can you fit into and help improve her life?

6. Love is commitment. Are you ready to commit your life to helping her grow and become all that she can be, by God’s grace?

7. Is she valuable enough for you to devote a large portion of your life towards the accomplishment of HER dream? Are you ready to pour your resources into making her all the Lord plans for her to be? If you are not ready, don’t just bother.

8. Before you open your mouth to say ‘I love you baby,’ ask yourself if this is not just a moment of ’emotional madness’. A woman needs much more than ‘I love you,’ she needs your commitment. If you are not ready to make that commitment that will lead to marriage, leave that woman alone in peace and stop wasting her time.



Filed under Single Ladies

For Single Ladies. Manipulation is Futile.

For Single Ladies. Manipulation is Futile.

1. Some ladies who have no healthy self esteem try to manipulate a man to enter into a relationship with them. Such manipulation ultimately backfires and hurts them. Manipulation is simply using devious and underhanded tactics to entrap a man in a relationship with you.

2. The problem with manipulation is that if the man doesn’t love you genuinely, you will never feel happy with yourself, neither will you be happy in the relationship. True love allows genuine feelings to manifest. If the man doesn’t love you, I want to assure you that there’s a man who genuinely loves you for who you are. You don’t have to manipulate any man to be with you.

3. Sexual manipulation occurs when a woman uses her beauty and sexual power to gain control of a man’s emotions. Sex is such a powerful manipulative tool that even the strongest among men can fall victim to it. If you used sex to get your man, rest assured that another woman also has the ability to take him away from you through sex. However, if he is with you because of your character and value, no woman will be able to take him away from you. The most stupid form of manipulation is getting pregnant for him with the hope that he will ‘love’ you after that. Lady, let me save you from years of torture and pain: DON’T do it! If he never loved you, he will be sure to HATE you after getting pregnant for him.

4. Financial manipulation occurs when a rich lady gets into a relationship with a not-so-rich guy and tries to control him with her money. She buys him with her money and he practically becomes her slave. The woman becomes his ‘mom’ and he becomes a robot who obeys her every request. How can you be happy in such a relationship? Some women just set themselves up for pain.

5. Emotional manipulation occurs when a woman uses anger, fear, threats, tears and other emotional blackmail tools to manipulate the man to enter into or stay with her in a relationship.

6. The truth is that relationship is about negotiation. You can negotiate your way with your VALUE into a man’s life instead of trying to manipulate him to be with you. Project your value, just like the Proverbs 31 woman. Only a fool will reject value when he sees it. And such a fool doesn’t deserve you. Stop trying to force your way into a fool’s heart because he will never value you.

7. When a man stands to gain a whole lot by having you in his life, he will naturally choose you as long as you are compatible with him. Such a man will make a very quick decision to get married to you because he doesn’t want to lose the value he sees in you. I pray such a man comes your way in Jesus Name.

8. If you have used manipulation to ‘tie’ a man down with you, now is the time to stop using such a devious tool. Let the man choose what he wants. Does he want you or not? Never, ever operate in fear. The Bible says that there is no fear in love, perfect love casts out fear. If that man is for you, he will remain with you.



Filed under Single Ladies