Making Love Work

Hello everyone,

Here are some keys to making love work.

1. Seek to serve, improve and help your partner become better.

2. Celebrate and encourage your partner’s success.

How To Keep A Good Man.

How To Keep A Good Man.

1. Be your true self.
2. Project your beauty and ‘assets.’
3. Communicate intelligently.
4. Be assertive. Real men like strong women.
5. Don’t spy. If he wanted a spy he could have gone to the CIA.

Finding Mr Perfect or Mr Right?

Finding Mr Perfect or Mr Right?

Rachel believes that there’s a man who will connect with her emotionally and satisfy all her emotional needs.
Afida has searched for the man who will match her intellectually. A man who will not only understand the peculiar workings of her brilliant mind, but who will also challenge her to strive and become better.
Beatrice is a romantic. Her ideal man, who seems so elusive, will cook her nice meals, bring her flowers, take her shopping and fly her to exotic locations on holiday.

If you are searching for Mr Perfect, you may end up waiting a long time. There is no real flesh and blood man who meets ALL of these qualities. Such a man exists only in the imagination of many women. If you pursue this illusion, you will end up with a fake who will show you what you want to see until he entraps you with his lies.

Here are a few things to think through as you connect with your Mr Right.

You Attract Who You Deserve, Not Who You Desire.

You attract who you deserve, not who you desire.

Many writers on relationship and love encourage you to write a list of the qualities you want to see in your future partner. This is good because it helps to clarify the kind of person you want in your life. However some of these lists border on fantasy and are so laughable.

A Queen. A Peasant. A King.

Who is a queen?

A queen is a woman of character. She’s refined and cultured, trained in the fine art of human relationships. She knows who she is and walks with dignity. She has a deep sense of her value and does not undermine herself, neither does she allow anyone do so. She treats herself with respect therefore it is easy for her to extend the same level of respect to those with whom she interacts, especially, her king. She honours herself in every way possible; in her dressing, her choice of friends and her pursuits. She does what she enjoys and pours her heart into her purpose and passion. She is pleasant to be with, to hang out with. She knows how to engage in and hold a conversation in such a way that a man’s intellect is stirred up to the point where he desires to know more about her. She communicates in such a way that a man is magnetized to her person, refusing to let go. A queen makes every minute you spend with her a pleasant experience. She’s not perfect, but she has so developed the key areas of her personality to the point that it more than compensates for any weaknesses in her character. She does this so well that men think that she’s perfect, when indeed she’s not. This illusion of perfection is not a ruse but the result of the careful cultivation of her soul to the point where it radiates like a well polished gem.

Who is a peasant?

A peasant is a man of low character. He is everything a king is not. He is everything a queen does not want in her life. He may look like a king without, but be a peasant within. It is character or the lack thereof that defines who a peasant is. It has nothing to do with his education, financial success or social standing. A peasant may be very rich but still be unable to connect with a queen, because he is not king material. A good sign of a king is that he honours and respects his queen. A peasant does not know how to honour or treat a woman with respect. He doesn’t have what it takes to gain access to the heart of a queen. Therefore, peasants and queens don’t mix.

A queen does not attract a peasant.

For Single Ladies. That Frog is Not A Prince.

For Single Ladies. That Frog is Not A Prince.

1. A frog is a man who is totally unsuitable for you. He is a man of bad character.

2. Women who like frogs are RESCUERS. A rescuer is a woman who wants to ‘help’ men who have character issues or who are ‘down on their luck’. The problem with rescuing a frog is that, first, it will not turn into a prince and second, it wants a female frog for a wife.

3. Kissing or trying to develop a relationship with a frog will not magically transform it into a prince.

For Single Ladies. Your Body and Your Soul.

For Single Ladies. Your Body and Your Soul.

1. You are more than your body. Negotiating with your body in a relationship will only lead to disaster. You must up your game. Learn to negotiate with your inner beauty, your mind, your soul.

2. He may like your body but hate your person. You should know the difference.

3. A man may want to ‘die’ for your body but hate your very soul. You must know the difference.

For Single Ladies. What Kind Of Man Should You Be Searching For?

For Single Ladies. What Kind Of Man Should You Be Searching For?

1. A handsome man? Beauty is overrated. A handsome man may excite and arouse you but will he satisfy the deep yearnings of your heart? If all you have ever thought about is ‘a handsome-prince-charming’, you need to modify that picture. A handsome man will not make your life better.

2. A sexy man? Many handsome men come to mind. Actors, singers, body builders and a host of others. Like beauty, sex is overrated. A sexy man may satisfy your sexual fantasies but will he enhance your life and happiness?

3. A rich man? I hear many single ladies say, ‘I may not marry right but I will marry rich.’ That is ignorance talking. If you marry a rich monster, his money will not make him a better, more humane and more loving man.

For Single Ladies. Is Your Man Asleep?

For Single Ladies. Is Your Man Asleep?

1. If your man is asleep, you need to wake him up before he does something foolish which will affect your future. In fact, it is foolish of you to be in a relationship with a man who is asleep. To be asleep is to have a wrong perception of life and what it demands from you.

2. He is asleep if he has no clear vision, plan or purpose for his life. Ask your man what he wants to be in the next 10 years. If he cannot give you a simple answer, the dude is asleep.

3. He is asleep if he does not nurture you emotionally, spiritually and mentally. The process of nurturing is what deepens the level of intimacy in your relationship.

4. He is asleep is he doesn’t listen to you when you talk. He may not agree with you but a man who likes you and wants you in his life ought to listen to you and understand what you are saying. He should understand your pain and your pleasure. If he doesn’t understand you then he is asleep.

5. A man who says he wants to get married to you but has no money is a joker. Please ask him

For Single Ladies. Stop Acting Like His Wife When You Are Not.

For Single Ladies. Stop Acting Like His Wife When You Are Not.

1. Some ladies think that acting like a wife will automatically persuade the guy to put the ring on their finger. That is faulty thinking and could lead you into big emotional problems.

2. Just so we are clear, until he puts the ring on your finger, you are NOT, I repeat, not, his wife. You go everywhere together,  hold hands, kiss in public, he introduces you to his friends as ‘my wife’, all that is nonsense until he puts a legal ring on your finger.

3. You are dating him, that doesn’t give him the right to demand wife duties from you. Dating and marriage are totally different things.